Posted by There is a good reason why, sometimes, gender relations are so complicated, why sometimes you don’t understand each other. It’s just because we don’t speak the same language of love. So like that, it’s a bit romantic-romantic, but if you look at it more closely, you understand better. so it is very important Love Languages for couples: Know yours now.
According to Gary Chapman, an American marriage counselor that wrote love languages book, there are in fact 5 languages of love and, if one can be receptive to several languages, there is usually a language that predominates and to avoid any incomprehension, it is better, as soon as possible, to understand which language is privileged by the other.
Finding the language used by the other allows us to perceive their proof scans of love, and communicating about the language that is promoted allows you to receive more proof of love. On the program: a more established communication and less misunderstandings or frustrations!
What are the 5 languages of love?
Here are the 5 love languages:
- The rewarding words
- Quality moments
- Gifts
- The services rendered
- Physical touch
The rewarding words
The rewarding words, the flattery, what we can say to the other by highlighting it, words highlighting the affection we have for the other. Encouraging is one of the most rewarding words.
For instance:
“As you are beautiful/ tall/intelligent/strong/extraordinary,”
“You make me feel happy”
“I feel good in your arms”
Quality moments
It’s these special little moments, one-on-one, whether to discuss or share an experience. Everyone stops time, stops their activities of the moment to enjoy a good time at 2.
For example:
“come to lunch with the other near his office, make a breakfast in love at the café before going to work, a walk with two.”
Gifts
Well, it’s simple: receiving a gift pleases everyone, and yet, not everyone has the reflex to make it and we do not receive them in the same way.
Offering a gift allows the other to think of you every time he sees the present, so it can be worth the cost, especially since the price does not matter (or so, beware of the intentions of the other).
Bringing back your favorite dessert when you get home from the office can have more impact than a bouquet of flowers or a big gift, the intention, the personalization of the gift comes into play.
The services rendered
It is simply to serve the other, not in the sense that it is the leader of the band, but to do actions to simplify his life, it can be small services on a daily basis as well as more “extraordinary” actions.
So there, we understand why sometimes men announce to have vacuumed with a big smile and bulging torso. For them, it is a proof of love!
Physical touch
The physical touch includes all gestures of affection: holding hands, hugging the other, caressing him. We are more or less tactile and welcome with more or less interest the signs of affection, for some people, taking someone in his arms is banal, for others it represents a superhuman effort, it is necessary to know how to “graduate” these gestures affection.
So these are the languages of love, you just have to determine which language you are more receptive to and above all … to let it be known! At the key, we would better interpret the gestures and attitudes of the other, and our evidence/attentions would be better received. It’s simple!
Take The Love Language Test
I propose here to distinguish your 5 languages and classify them, and then to estimate the level of your “reservoir of love” for the purpose of filling it up. this is love language test for couples, lovers and singles.
Gary Chapman’s 5 languages of love are:
- The rewarding words
- Quality time
- Gifts
- The services rendered
- Physical touch
I will now ask you to rank them from the most important to the least important.
How do I know which language I’m most sensitive to?
By a simple technique: you do to your partner what you would like him to do to you? This language is yours.
Examples: do you regularly give him small gifts? Your favorite language is “Gifts.” Do you tend to look for his physical contact? Your favorite language is “Physical Touch,” etc.
How do you rank these 5 languages in order of importance?
If you are looking for his physical contact, but need more than anything of rewarding words to desire your partner and the small services rendered pass you relatively over the head: your list will be:
“Gifts” – “The Valuable Words” – No.3: “Physical Touch” – No.4: “Quality Moments” – No.5: “Services rendered.”
Test your love languages
Now that you’ve got it all figured out, it’s up to you:
A – “To be assured my partner loves me, I need________more than anything… Rate from 1 to 5
Valuable words (compliments, encouragement, praise, etc.)
Quality moments (exclusive moments, discussions, impromptu lunches, etc.)
Gifts (small simple intentions, regularly)
Services rendered (crafts, cooking, household chores, childcare, etc.)
Physical touch (cuddles, hand in hair, hugs, kisses, sex.)
B – “To feel loved I beleive my partner needs_________more than anything… Rate from 1 to 5
Valuable words.
Quality moments.
Gifts.
Services rendered.
Physical touch
What is the level of your “love reservoir”?
C – On a scale of 0 to 10, at what level do you estimate your “love reservoir?”
(0: I’m completely flat – 10: I’m fulfilled in every way)
D – Does your partner know how to raise this level? Rank from 1 to 5
With rewarding words.
In quality moments.
With gifts.
By services rendered.
By physical touch.
And your spouse, what language does he speak?
E – On a scale of 0 to 10, at what level do you estimate your partner’s “emotional reservoir?”
(0: I feel like he/she doesn’t want anything – 10: He/she looks fulfilled in every way)
F – Do you know how to raise this level? Rank from 1 to 5
With rewarding words.
In quality moments.
With gifts.
By services rendered.
By physical touch.
Results
By taking this test, you learn to recognize what you are sensitive to, both of you. Its goal is to realize that you have your own sensitivity and your way of expressing it. Ditto for your spouse. This will help you a lot to identify the origin of your crisis and be able to talk about it in the future.
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